Let me start by saying that often after people have known me a while,  and we might get around to sharing where we went to high school, if they are from the NYC area the reaction is always an amazed, surprised look, and then, “OH!!”  To which my usual response is, “I know, it’s the first and last impressive thing I’ve done!”
(Anyone else here ever have that experience?)

So much for musings, now the facts. My parents told me I would be going to a city college after graduation, as that was what they could afford. But, wanting me to be rid of my high school boyfriend so badly, they managed to scrape it together (it really wasn’t so much back in those days) and send me to SUNY Albany. I majored in psychology, remained there for 3 years, and then transferred in my senior year with a bunch of friends to SUNY Buffalo because (believe it or not) it was a more happening place, back then.

I met a boy there who was emigrating to Israel the following year. Inasmuch as I was planning to spend a year there between undergrad and grad school — we seemed to have something in common.  However one year vs the rest of your life is a vast difference! So, expectedly we broke up. I came back to NYC and began Social Work School at Columbia. I lived with parents for one year, and then on 110th St. with my former best friend from elementary school.

I grew up on the UWS — way before it was the sleek, completely unaffordable, trendy Valhalla that it is today.  The only thing I could dream of then was one day getting outta there!  It was the early 70’s, and I set my sights on San Francisco. But, as fate would have it, I only got as far west as over the GW Bridge!  And there I remained, in Bergen County for the next 40 years. I s’pose you could say, I lived my life there  (up until two years ago, but hold on… that’s the final chapter of this piece).

So, I worked as a Clinical Social Worker. The first few years in mental health settings, and then as a School Social Worker for the NYC Dept.  of Ed. - High School Division. They were fun, exciting years, for the most part.  Hey, they were my 30’s. Somewhere along I got advanced training in marital and family therapy I started a part-time private practice in the 90’s, and kept it going post-retirement from the school system, in 2008.

I’ve always been kinda “new agey” /spiritual type and made it a point of studying many things related to human potential, once I completed my graduate studies.

So, what about home and family?? Ok, I’ve been married three times, and yes, I forgot to have children! My third marriage is my current one, and we have been together for almost 15 years now. He is the forever one.  When you marry for a third time, and you are in your mid-fifties, it really is “Till death do you part!” Could the other ones have worked, if I knew then what I know now? Maybe. But that’s life. So no regrets.

And that brings us to the current chapter. The move to Sarasota, Florida — aka “Paradise!”  I honestly still can’t tell you how or why this came about — and what I’m doing here full time! One thing led to another. We were planning  to visit my sister in Ft. Lauderdale. My husband knew a realtor in Sarasota, who called us in NJ, looking to drum up business. We mentioned our  impending visit, and that we would also be driving across to see our friend who recently moved to Sarasota. She offered to show us some properties. We ended up buying the first one she showed us; fully furnished; priced unbelievably low, due to the collapsed market at the time.  We rented it out for the first two seasons, and now, here we are. I planned to make this move incrementally, in small stages. But our house in Teaneck literally got sold out from under us immediately.

Let me say, adjusting to this stage of life is a big deal. Doing this in a whole different location is HUGE!! At least for me it is.  That’s not to say that my life is not good here. I’ve made a lot of friends. I do some volunteer work. Recently took an exam (first one since the 1970’s) and got my FL LCSW. The conventional wisdom is that I’m always busy  (it’s a myth!) But I feel like my life is like one of those Tibetan works of sand art. Y’know once all the pieces fit together  (as they did in my post-retirement years in NJ) you lift it up, blow it all to bits, and start all over again!

And yet, this is a wonderful place to be — but for me, I think part-time is the answer.  I really miss the 4 seasons.  And so, when we’re up in June, we’ll be looking into possibly getting a small condo in Rockland County, and being back here for maybe 4 months a year.  My life, like yours, is a work in progress!

Risa (Bisgeier) Marlen

PS — Writing this wasn’t so bad.  Maybe I’ll take that memoir writing course, after all!